When you just need a moment…
Both Ruby and Radish have been such attentive mothers. I’m proud of them. They are attuned to the needs of their pups, patient with their demands, and dedicated to caring for them.
And…sometimes I’m sure its overwhelming.
I can relate. I love my role as a mother. It’s one of the most important in my life. Being attuned to my children, connecting with them, caring for them…it adds sweetness to my life that I can’t re-create in any other realm.
And yet, sometimes I just need a moment. It’s easy to get lost in the on-going demands and needs of my children. Especially when they were all very young. I developed a routine of coffee time every afternoon. Simply sitting down to a cup of coffee prepared by me and for me was a reminder that my needs, too, have a place and a value. I needed to take care of myself!
Ruby and Radish don’t have the option to make themselves a cup of coffee as a form of self-care. (Though, interestingly, Ruby LOVES coffee. If I leave mine unattended the whole of its contents will be gone.). But, they do deal with their overwhelm.
The other day, we found Ruby bedded down in an abandoned cupboard that we store rag towels in.
I think it was her way of taking a little break! The puppies were all okay - just doing their thing, some wandering around exploring and others out cold asleep. And meanwhile, Ruby made some solitude happen.
I don’t think I’ll put myself in a cupboard, but perhaps I can cut out a chunk of my day to simply rest in my room. Thanks Ruby, for the suggestion!
Move Over, Anticipation!
Our Ruby girl is looking substantial these days. Maybe a better description would be colossal. In fact, I don’t remember any of our mothers showing that they are with child more than this! Time will tell how many pups she will imbue life into.
As the days draw close for those pups to make their way into the world, I find that I am embodying anxiety and anticipation right alongside Ruby. Just a few more days, sweet Ruby! You can do it!
We are trying to help Ruby stay as comfortable as she can, but as we both walk forward with a bit of anticipation, apprehension, and excitement, its reminding me to think through - how do I slow down, catch my breath, and deal with anxiety when it surfaces?
I’m sure that Ruby and I both do that differently. And yet, maybe there are some strategies we share. And maybe, just maybe, I can learn a few things through observing my furry friends.
When our dogs are anxious, one thing that they generally don’t do, is simply sit still and stare off into space. They move. Sometimes, they chew things, get into trouble, jump up, pace, wiggle around, or peel out in an all-out run. But movement is something that I often see.
It’s like they know what their body is asking for, and they respond.
By contrast, when I’m anxious, I sometimes give in to fretting…just mulling over what I am anxious about, overthinking, and searching the corners of my mind for some invisible answer.
Today has been a day like that. So many things to balance here at the farm - projects, flowers, animals, people, my home, myself…I could probably have a full time job just fretting, if I wanted it.
And, at the same time, I can feel this pent up energy within me that is asking for a release. I think my body is asking me to move! How simple is that? Not necessarily moving to accomplish a project or task, but just simply moving to incorporate movement - walking, a form of exercise…or maybe it is just getting started on that project I’m concerned about.
Interestingly enough, brain research supports this concept that the dogs already know. Movement regulates parts of the brain. When faced with anxiety, rhythmic movement can help the brain to settle down, so to speak.
I needed a researcher to discover the complexities of the brain before I could make sense of that, but the dogs - they just listen to their bodies, and respond.
Maybe thats why walking AND thinking is so much more calming to me than just thinking. And, perhaps today is a good day for a walk with one of our dogs…movement (walking) and relationship (time with one of the dogs) seems like a winning combination.
Sometimes You Feel Like a Nap
No expectations. No worries. I love these pups. Yesterday, I came through the door to all 7 of them lined up on the hardwood floor snoozing away. Minutes before they’d been excitedly licking, exploring, and playing amidst the delighted sounds from our kids.
One thing I love about pups is that they invariably take the time to care for their needs. No shame, no guilt about it. No expectations, no looming deadlines. If its time to sleep, its time to sleep! Hungry? No problem…just head to the food bowl (or maybe the garbage can, or even just dig a carrot up from the garden).
I’d love to follow in those paw prints.
Though, that is much easier said than done in our human existence. The fact remains that we do have deadlines, responsibilities, the needs of others to fill. Though checking out does seem appealing, we have a calling to more. And that, too, is good.
Perhaps for me, in my current season of parenting my five, planning and preparing for a new season on the farm, and welcoming our newest guests to the farm, I need to accept that self care must be inextricably intertwined with a planning for it.
And it must be non-negotiable. I would bet that those pups consider their naps non-negotiable. Yes, non-negotiable and specific for me - what I need at the time.
For the pups, sometimes its a nap and sometimes its a belly rub! For me, sometimes its an activity alone, a quiet time for thinking, and other times its just something thats fun, or with a whole group of people. Whatever our self-care looks like, it is necessary, right, and good.
Here are some of my favorite ways to recharge:
Cease my activity, and actually sit down for a cup of coffee in the afternoon
Read a classic novel
Cuddle/laugh/play with one of our dogs
Carve out time for a slow-paced walk
Meet with a friend to connect
Smile, breathe, and have gratitude for the little things
Get a massage, pedicure
Journal thoughts, ideas, how I’m feeling
What are yours?
